Why I fear Socializing and meeting new people?
When we think about childhood, our fond memories are easily devoted towards our growing years family, siblings. And sometimes those flashbacks which haunts us forever. I think I have met many people mostly women who shared with me thier experience about sexually assault when they were young. I’m one in it.
One of my cousins, who was 16 or 17, assaulted me when I was 12 years old. I was sexually abused for four of my formative years. If I attempt to recall everything precisely, the word that comes to mind is "Bad Touch." I was too young to distinguish between different things and categorise them, and neither my parents nor my upbringing had prepared me for this. And I believe that the generational gap was their issue, to lack an understanding over my sufferings.
All of these horrifying incidents continued until I was 15 and he was 18 years old. touching me on my body, my genetials and other private areas. I won’t be lying if i state that I never understood the intention. My parents used to believe that because he is my older brother, he will look after me if I am left alone with him. And When my parents later saw him inappropriately touching me, they immediately put an end to it. It all eventually came to an end. But the thing I regret today is why i never understood the intent initially, my parents never confronted me about those traumatic incidents with me believing it will be breaking me. And it continued to bother my mind every single passing day. My parents were concerned about me, and they didn’t wanted me to suffer from terrible memories. Though it always haunted a part of me consciously or subconsciously.
My life was divided among periods of dilemma. I made it a practise to speak less, and up to the age of 18, I kept believing maybe I deserved it. However, once I made the decision to discuss this with my parents. and let them know how broken I was when I was growing up. They always knew it, but hearing it from me and seeing me cry moved them to tears. Because they sensed that I suffered as a result of their ignorance.
Anyway time heals major pain and trauma’s of our life and now i feel, at the age of 24, "why my earlier self blamed herself for everything. While entering adulthood, I refined my way of thinking, and I manifested it. So that no matter what the circumstance would be, If I don’t feel at ease, I will loudly object.
When sexual assault is accepted as a common occurrence, predators are empowered to continue their behaviour.
I feel, we should teach the younger generation around us,how to distinguish between a good Approach and a bad Approach by refusing to engage in any assault, no matter how tiny or large it may be…
Because, sexual exploitation is a serious issue that affects individuals of all ages, but it is especially devastating when it happens to young people. The effects of sexual exploitation can last a lifetime and cause lasting harm to a person’s mental and emotional health. It is not something that should ever be considered normal or acceptable.
The exploitation of young people is particularly concerning because they are still in the process of developing their sense of self and their understanding of the world around them. When they experience sexual assault in any manner, it can have a profound and lasting impact on their mental and emotional health, and can even lead to a lifetime of trauma and psychological damage. because they are vulnerable and may be less likely to speak out or seek help. They may feel ashamed or embarrassed about what has happened to them, or they may not know how to get the help they need. This only serves to further exacerbate the harm caused by the exploitation and can make it difficult for these young people to seek the support they need to heal. I can articulate all this because these exact was my thoughts while growing up. It is up to all of us to work together to prevent sexual exploitation, to support those who have been affected by it or might still getting affected. And to create a world in which it is not tolerated.
Thank you for reading; at the time I wrote it, I might have already reached that stage in my life. But I’ll be fine, I promise. Love to all people everywhere; we are powerful; we are cherished.🫂💌
